A "Peace" of Kate: "A Tough Athlete" Written by The Marden Family

From: The Westport News

Maura Marden was always a tough athlete. A swimmer and a marathon runner, Marden was used to fighting through pain.

But on Aug. 7 her resilience and toughness made a lasting impression on all those at the annual SWIM Across the Sound fundraiser. Despite being in the midst of a battle with cancer, the 53-year-old Marden participated in the swim along with her three sons and family friends.

"We thought she would swim for maybe five minutes and that would be enough time in the water for her," said Bill Marden, Maura's husband, who was in the boat beside her. "But she yelled up `give me 10 more.' She was so enthusiastic and she swam for 10 more minutes."

Maura Marden died on Monday, ending a four-year battle with cancer. Her family and friends said that final swim with her family meant everything to her.

"For two years she never, ever complained," said Bill Marden. "Every morning she was up, she went to the gym, she lived her actual life and didn't let cancer get in the way. Every night she would make dinner."

"She was so thrilled when she finished and after the swim she was very sick," Bill Marden said. He added that his wife had been sick in bed until 3 p.m. the day before, but remarkably was healthy enough to participate in the part of the 15-mile swim from Port Jefferson on Long Island to Captain's Cove in Bridgeport that serves as a fundraiser for the St. Vincent's Medical Center of Bridgeport.

"I saw her the day before she went into intensive care," said Linda Johnston, a friend of Maura's for 22 years. "And she said, `The greatest moment was the day I swam with the boys.'"

Marden swam with her three boys -- David, 23; Danny, 21; and Bart, 19 -- all Division I swimmers at the University of the Pacific in California and graduates of Fairfield Prep, along with family friend Andy Davis and her oncologist, Dr. Neil Fischbach. Bill Marden served as captain for the group, called Team Pride II. In addition to swimming, she also raised more than $20,000.

Johnston said Marden "showed an awful lot of strength" during the swim and it was an amazing moment. She said a YouTube video shows Marden crossing the finish. "You can tell she wasn't well at that time, but she had to do it for her kids."

"Seeing Maura swim merely confirmed what everyone who has ever come in contact with her already knows, Maura Marden is one tough cookie who loves her family and does everything in her power to help those around her," said a close friend, Bill Loftus.

"It was vintage Maura, she gave it everything she had," said Loftus. Marden swam two, twenty minute legs in the race.

She also received an award for raising the most money for St. Vincent's Hospital. In her address to the crowd, Loftus said, Marden said that "she is living proof that the St. Vincent's Foundation provides an invaluable service to cancer patients in making their quality of life so much better and she encouraged the crowd to continue supporting this vital organization."

Loftus recalled some people questioning Marden's decision to swim while dealing with such a debilitating illness, especially because she was receiving six-hour treatments at Yale-New Haven, including one the day prior to the race. But, he said, "if you knew her, it made perfect sense. She was never happier than when she was at a swimming event with her family, especially one that was so dear to her heart. She used her illness as a platform to do good for others who were not as fortunate as she."

It was a selfless act totally consistent with her personality and character," Loftus said.

Marden first found out she had breast cancer in 2007 and, by 2008, it was gone, her husband said. Marden thought that was behind her, but in November 2008 she was diagnosed with Acute Myleogenic Leukemia. She was admitted to Yale-New Haven hospital. She endured chemotherapy in 2008 and a bone marrow transplant in 2009, which led to side effects and eventually an infection, said Bill Marden.

Through it all, he noted, Maura showed tremendous strength and was always there for her family. "From 2007 she never missed a day in the gym, never missed making dinner, she always put her responsibilities and desires ahead of the illness," he said.

Marden was active at Fairfield Prep, swam at the Westport Weston Family Y and was also known in Westport for a run at the second selectman seat with John Izzo in 2001.

"She was a beautiful woman. She was energetic, enthusiastic and outgoing," said Pete Wolgast, who was the Republican Town Committee chairman at the time. "She will be missed."

Johnston, who met Marden at the Westport Young Women's League, found running to be a common interest. The two worked out together frequently at Fitness Edge.

"It was like my Tuesday's With Maura," she said. "She had a great passion for life, was courageous, was a role model and I am lucky to have to got to know her."

Loftus, like Johnston, said he was lucky to have known Marden.

"As I told my children the other day, we can all learn a lot from the way that Maura lived her life," Loftus said. "I feel blessed to have the honor of calling her my friend and we'll all miss her greatly."

In addition to her husband and three sons from her first marriage, Maura Marden is survived by her stepchildren, Billy and Deli; her mother,Margaret P. Finneran; five siblings; and 12 nieces and nephews.


 

A "Peace" of Kate: "Our Captain, Tony" Written by Gail Caputo

Nothing I could ever write could ever really capture the essence of this man, Tony Caputo. A father, grandfather, husband, brother, and friend he is the reason we are together as family, the explanation for our successes, the foundation of the love we give, and the strength we share.

Tony taught us how to sail, appreciate simplicity of nature, love animals with all our heart, and more than anything else, to experience the world as would a child for the very first time. He used to joke that he taught me everything I know. We laughed then, but I know it is true that my father taught me the best of what I know.

His memories of childhood and days in the navy were stories he told us over, it seemed, and over again. They were sometimes sad stories and other times exciting to be sure. While I might have listened half-heartedly here and there when I knew how the stories ended, I now realize why he held onto those days. It was not so much that he wanted us to remember his youth or to know how he explored the world. He told the stories, I think, to relive with each of us by his side some of the most important times of his life. He is a man of deep emotion and wondrous spirit.

Tony was diagnosed with primary liver cancer around Father’s Day, 2013. A man with good health and youthfulness was suddenly struck down. We grieved and prayed like so many others and tried to ready ourselves for the unknown. Then like countless others before him young and old, Tony began a regiment of treatment that would slow his disease and weaken him at the same time. Of Tony’s last treatment Betty, his wife, remembers:

As we walked down the corridor after Tony's last procedure heading towards his room at Johns Hopkins (it was a long corridor going through several connected buildings) he was being wheeled as he lay on the gurney. I walked beside him as he said "Are we in NJ yet? I haven't seen a toll yet!"  His sense of humor was not lost. It was what attracted me to him in the first place.

 

Tony was still with us and he is here today. While his cancer is not curable and we know the inevitable will come, we are here together and we are reminded of how important hope is and of the power in positive thinking. Yet, most of all we know to live a lesson he taught us: to cherish every moment. So almost a year after his diagnosis, Tony’s Crew – Betty, Susan, Jill, Holly, Gail and Gia –will walk and run along side this great man to honor him and with him, to fight this terrible disease.

For dad,

Gail


A "Peace" of Kate: "Tribute to Our Carol" Written by the Higgins Girls (Christine, Lisa, Gina & Tracy)

Carol "Augie" Murphy loved life especially "organizing" everything down to the very last detail!  That's why we nicknamed her Augie.  Her love of organizing had her fully involved hosting and planning big parties to small gatherings and anything in between.  Carol always looked like she stepped out of a fashion magazine whether we were going shopping, out to dinner or going to the beach.  She perfected this skill on her husband, Mike, and so it won't surprise you she planned her "send me off to Heaven party" and had Mike execute it down to the very last detail!   No one could plans things better than Carol. 

Carol was an amazing wife, sister, Mom and best friend to our parents, Irene and Bob.  From a very early age Carol & Mike and our Mom and Dad have been inseparable.  They did everything together and had so much fun enjoying life.  Carol was our 2nd Mom.  Her sparkling green eyes and her beautiful smile would light up a room wherever she went and we all admired how put together she always was, outfit, shoes, jewelry...everything all perfectly matched. 

In August of  2011 Carol was diagnosed with Cholangiocarcinoma, a very rare cancer which begins in the bile duct and ultimately affects and shuts down the liver.  Seriously, who could even pronounce this name let alone battle this type of cancer?!    For almost 18 months she underwent numerous treatments & procedures in NY and Florida to put the cancer in remission.  She endured all of this despite being told there wasn't a cure.  She lived life on her terms and battled the cancer on her terms too.  She fought a courageous battle & never gave up hope.  She never let the cancer get the best of her and during this time never missed an opportunity to be with us at our family gatherings.  She was an inspiration to all who knew her & our lives will never be the same without her. 

Carol passed away on April 11, 2013.  Our team “Carol’s Crusaders” will run/walk in her memory at the Bay Head 5K for the 2nd time this year.  We miss her every day but she lives forever in our hearts.    Her send off party included her wanting the song "Smile Though Your Heart  Is Breaking" played.  We still smile with broken hearts but not broken spirit.  We were all so fortunate to have her in our lives and it gives us peace knowing she's with the Lord, experiencing happiness forever.

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A "Peace" of Kate: "Every Step Counts" Written by Krista Coppola Patterson

Hi All,

I am so proud and honored to be participating in Kate’s race for my second time. Last year, Ed, his entire family, friends (especially the amazing Pat Tully), and strangers were all such an incredible inspiration and support system to my sister, Meghan, my brother and me.  I do not have enough words to express my gratitude and deepest appreciation for including my sister and our family into your event honoring Kate’s memory.

About 18 months ago in an almost perfect world, I received a phone call that would change my life forever. My twin sister, Meghan, at 34, was diagnosed with AML a week after giving birth to her third daughter. Without hesitation I was on a plane and ready to fight like hell with her and for her three little girls. The next several months were a true testament to the strength, tenacity and grit that makes my sister who she is…a true badass. No amount of chemo would keep her in bed. Every day in the hospital for months she would walk up and down the hallway, and on days that her counts were too low to leave her room, she would walk back and forth in her room. Even if on some days it was just a few steps.  On every walk we took she would say how she was visualizing walking up to the beach in the summer.  It kept her going. And it worked.  In less than a year, she had a baby on the bathroom floor, was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer, got in remission, had a stem cell transplant, had liver and kidney failure, moved, raised 3 kids, and finally got to take her first walk up to the beach… at Kate’s Race last May.

I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing Kate, but I now have this vision of what a beautiful person she was from reading and hearing everyone’s stories and feeling the energy of all her loved ones at the race. I want to thank you Kate, for selflessly leading the way for others and for my sister. Before the race last year, Kate’s Dad met my sister and said, “May Kate’s light shine on you today and every day.” I think that says it all. 

See y’all at the race!

In health and hope,
Krista