A "Peace" of Kate: "The Coldest Day" Written by Ed Shea

December twenty something……yesterday…“Damn, it’s cold” I mutter to myself as I step out of the cab onto the corner of 101st and Madison in uptown Manhattan for what seems like the millionth time. Anyone familiar with NYC in the winter months knows it can be as cold and unforgiving a place as anywhere else on Earth. The wind off the East River can chill you to the bone in seconds…. It would get colder soon…much colder…. but that comes later…As I walk through the sliding doors and past the watchman I say my good evening to the gentleman behind the security counter as I always do, we don’t sign in or adhere to visiting hours anymore, these people know us all to well by now. No small talk tonight though, I need to get upstairs…. Kate needs me on the 10th floor. I’ve walked through this atrium and down these corridors many times, and it is really a special place, architecturally it is beautiful, great angles, large open spaces, and the best part, tons of natural sunlight during the day, and dim lit and peaceful in the evening. I have always seen it as a place of hope and dreams…I don’t see it as a place of desperation and sadness as I witness in so many other’s faces here.  There is too much goodness here. I don’t judge, God only knows the pain that these people are going through. You learn to deal with this your own way … and no way is the wrong way….

I push the button and quickly arrive on the 10th floor. It is always quiet here at night, the nurse’s station is in the center of the room, and there are twelve to fifteen rooms that wrap around it. All these doors are seemingly always open, the people here are sick, very sick, and I have seen these rooms change patients many times, too many times. I keep my head down on this floor, I give these other patients their privacy and have nothing but the utmost respect for them. Besides there is only one person I need to concern myself with tonight, and she is three doors down on the left. As I walk into my sister’s room it is never lost on me how many regulations these people have allowed us to break, it’s Christmas time and you would think Kate’s room is Rockefeller Center. We have lights strung all about the room, decorations, gifts from friends of Kate’s are always surrounding her, we have a couch/bed that is adorned with comforters and throw pillows, Get Well letters galore and pictures of all our friends and family hung over the walls. She has a stunning view of Central Park and I can’t help but wonder what this 1 bedroom/1 bath would rent for if it were not in a hospital. Kate is sound asleep, so frail, so tired of fighting, she needs this sleep more than anything. I will sit here and watch and talk to her for a while, and eventually nod off. I’ve done this countless times before. I sleep here often, just in case Kate needs something throughout the night, my father, mother and I take turns, and when my other siblings are able, they rotate in. Erin has her 2 babies she has to take care of, Tim is in Vermont at college and Megan is in high school at St. Rose. We have an apartment right across from the hospital. Our “control center” in NYC…Camp Kate is never without a Shea, literally 24 hours a day. I lie down on the makeshift bed and close my eyes. I drift off when suddenly I hear beeping and a loud commotion enter my dreams, and then the lights are on in a flash, and Kate is sitting upright in bed crying ,  surrounded by nurses, and I have no idea what the hell is taking place. She is pushing at the nurses and saying “Where’s  my brother? “Where’s my brother?” I hop onto her bed and say “I’m right here Kate!” “I’m right here!” I hold her head on my shoulder and hug her from a distance as I now realize she is having some form of anxiety attack in all of this…. “I’m here girl….I’m here.. Just relax, keep your head down, hold my shoulders…Relax…shhh… relax…..that’s it girl…..just breath”. She  raises her head right then, and looks into my eyes, and she tells me something with them,. I stare at her and talk back with my eyes saying “I get it Kate, I got it.”. During this, one of the nurses has administered a sedative through Kate’s i.v. tube and I feel her anxiety begin to ease. She lies back down and she is quickly off to sleep again.

As everything settles and the nurses return to their station I sit there on Kate’s bed for a bit and stroke her face. I get up feeling strangely peaceful and walk out of the room. I take the elevator back down to the lobby and walk out onto Madison Avenue again. There is no cold anymore,…. My baby sister has just told me,  in no uncertain terms, that she can’t do this any longer, she isn’t going to make it, she is going to die and she knows it……I feel like I might get sick, but tears just well up.  I walk over to Central Park and just let it go…all of it comes out in a flurry and I find it hard to breath. My body eventually relaxes and I find myself exhausted in this long journey and by Kate’s revelation.    

Kate passed away days later, at her funeral it was literally the coldest day I have ever experienced, and on the morning of her funeral my best friend Sean O’Rourke commented ….“This is the coldest goddamn day I can ever remember.” I knew right then it was Kate’s one last way of saying to me with her sly smile…..You thought it was cold the other night??...This is what cold really is.  Kate influenced the weather that day I am sure, she wanted me to feel her on the loneliest day of my life…..and I did….

I needed you to get better for you, for the family and friends, and for me….. All you needed was me to hold you on that cold winter night at Mount Sinai…You are the most selfless person I had the honor of knowing and I will never forget that moment. Even in death you came right to me when I needed you most. …I love you girl …and I promise that whenever I bitch about the cold again, I’ll make sure to wear an extra layer….

 

A "Peace" of Kate: "My Mother Marge, an Inspiration" Written by Sheila Irving

It seems like every time you turn around someone else you know is being diagnosed with some form of cancer.  My family has been affected a few times.  In April of 2003, my cousin was diagnosed with CML, a form of Leukemia.  My family got involved with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training and started to run and walk marathons and half marathons to raise money for awareness of this horrible disease.  This is when we met the Shea Family!!  My mother, Marge, was a walker and spent many a Saturday morning walking with Ray.

In October of 2006, Marge was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  She was crushed, but determined to beat it.  A week after her surgery, she was on a plane to Bermuda to visit our friends and had already made arrangements to visit a Dr. there if she had any problems!!!  Following doctors orders, and doing exactly what she was told, Marge was a trooper through the chemo and radiation.  Slowly but surely she got her strength back, but had to miss walking the Bay Head 5k in May of 2007.  The chemo had wiped her out and she just wasn't strong enough to walk that year.  She returned to Bermuda again in November of 2007, when our family went to have Thanksgiving with our friends.  Marge got healthier and stronger and was sooo excited to be able to join the Shea family and walk in 2008.  A few short months later, Marge started to experience some medical issues that we later found out that the cancer was back and had gone from her lymph nodes to her entire abdomen!  Again, determined to beat the Cancer, she fought like a trooper.  Unfortunately, the Chemo was just too much for her body to handle this time.  Marge started Hospice two years and one day after her diagnosis.  Marge fought for 3 weeks and was a true inspiration to everyone during that time.  She had accepted that her fight was over and she was ready to move on to the next stage in her life.  Everyone who came to visit commented on how Marge seemed to accept her fate with such dignity.  Marge passed a week before her 64th birthday.

My mother was an inspiration to many, throughout her life, during her illness, and in her passing.

A "Peace" of Kate: "Toxic Avengers" Written by Mike Farrell

In December 2011, Mike Farrell heard the words that no one ever wants to hear: “you have cancer.” After complaining of back pain and being diagnosed with what was thought to be pneumonia, Mike, unbeknownst to everyone around him, had been battling small-cell lung cancer. A non-smoker, Mike was diagnosed with one of the most aggressive types of cancer. But in typical Mike fashion, he tackled the diagnosis head on and readied himself to beat those cancer cells into submission. Through various rounds of chemo and treatment, Mike never lost his constant ability to light up a room with his smile and quirky sense of humor. His great taste in music and great circle of friends and family provided the positive energy he needed to get him through his treatments. The always active Mike became oddly addicted to “Law and Order” while making big plans for his "Act 2" (including creating a new company which he fondly referred to as the “POT REIT”).

Upon hearing in May of 2012 that the cancer had left, Mike made a goal to walk the Bay Head 5k; something that to all of us seemed an impossible goal since the treatments had left his body beaten and battered. Just walking to the car took all his effort. Mike wanted to walk last year, but upon persuasion from all of us, we convinced him to wait a year to practice enough so that he could beat us all in the race.

However, in August, Mike heard those words again and this time it was worse: the cancer had spread. Going back for more aggressive treatments, Mike continued to fight and still never lost his confidence that he would beat this.  However, on October 21, 2012, Mike’s courageous effort wasn’t enough and he went home to heaven. In our minds and hearts, Mike will always be our superhero in so many ways and so to honor Mike, our family will be running the Bay Head 5k for him.

The name, “Toxic Avengers”, is taken from one of the basketball teams Mike used to play on. At the time, we all wondered "why on earth would you name a basketball team that?". But now, we think we have found a meaningful way to repurpose the team name to honor our superhero. We are walking this race now to raise money for the Lung Cancer Research Foundation, the Kate Shea Foundation (which is generously allowing us to participate in this event as a team) and, most importantly, for Mike. We want to avenge those toxic cancer cells that took him away from us too soon and hope to start to find a cure for this terrible disease.

So please join us and be a TOXIC AVENGER for Mike!

A "Peace" of Kate: "My Sister was a Match" Written by Meghan Rizzo

My name is Meghan Rizzo and I was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia at 34 years old, 1 week after giving birth to my 3rd daughter.

I was told I needed several rounds of chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant. I stayed in NYC for the next several months, family and friends never left my side, imagine there wasn't a minute I was alone - my family and friends were amazing. Luckily my sister was a match for stem cell and we were quickly on the road to recovery. She saved my life. With several ups and downs I am now 18 months post transplant and cancer free. There have been many advancements for blood cancer, I am blessed to currently be taking a maintenance drug that has only been on the market for a little over a year. 

Currently I am blessed to be living in Little Silver N.J. with my husband David and 3 daughters, Maddie, Noelle and Carys. Organizations like The Kate Shea Foundation are helping us get closer to a cure for leukemia and awareness of the need for stem cell donors. It is great to be part of the Bay Head 5k. 

If you haven't yet joined the stem cell/bone marrow registry you can go to dkms.org or sign up on the day of the race for free! 

Sincerely, 
Meghan Rizzo